My Two Least Favourite Words

One day. (Or it’s variation – Someday.)

Two words that, in my opinion, should never be used together.

Yet, I hear it all the time. ‘One day I’d like to write a book’. ‘One day I’d like to visit Asia’. ‘One day I’d like to quit my job and do something I really love’. ‘One day I’ll tell that person I love them’.

A thousand dreams, a million plans for the future, all prefixed by the words ‘one day’. And I hate it. I hate it with a passion. And so should you.

Why? Because, to my mind, one of two things will happen.

Either, you’ll wake up, some distant version of yourself, and find that ‘one day’ has come and gone. That suddenly you are too old, or too in debt, or too tied down to ever do the things you dreamed of doing. Those old dreams have become submerged in a different life and different dreams. That’s not to say those new dreams are bad, but there will always be that tiny part of you that regrets the things you didn’t do. You will always wonder ‘what if’.

Or, worse, ‘some day’ will never come. The future, the plans, the dreams will disappear in the blink of an eye. You will be gone and the only thing left will be the regrets. There is no knowing how long we have in this world, and today may be the only day we have left. Depressingly sad maybe, but true.

And so the answer is this. Don’t say ‘one day’, say ‘today’. ‘Today I’m going to start writing that book’. ‘Today, I’m going to start saving for Asia’. ‘Today I’m going to look for a new job doing what I love’. ‘Today I’m going to tell him I love him.’

We only get one life. One chance. One opportunity to experience everything this crazy, incredible universe has to offer. (Now I feel like I’m stealing from a rap song). But it’s true. I sometimes think people don’t realise what an incredible blessing they have – just being alive. Life is crazy and wild and never turns out quite how we expect. But we have to take charge, we have to experience everything we can, whilst we still can.

Mark Twain says it better than I can – “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

So my friends and family can take this as a warning. If you say ‘one day’ around me, expect my wrath. It will be terrible. Tell me your dreams and plans and aspirations by all means. But don’t tell me that maybe, perhaps, one day, sometime you might do these things. Tell me you’re striving for them, you’re working towards them. Tell me you’re putting every ounce of passion and intellect and heart you possess into achieving those goals.

Don’t tell me ‘one day’, tell me ‘today’.

Goodbye Really Is The Hardest Word

Goodbye Really Is The Hardest Word

Everyone always says that goodbyes are some of the hardest moments of our lives. The proper goodbyes that is – the ones that really mean something.

I know for me each time I say goodbye to my parents to travel across the other side of the world I break down just a little – all right, a lot. Saying goodbye to my sister is always heartbreaking, especially now she has this new baby on the way. When I say goodbye I know I’m going to be missing important moments in her life – moments that I will hear about, but won’t be a part of. The same with my closest friend in the world – their lives go on without me, and I won’t be a part of them in quite the same way.

Today I said a goodbye that I didn’t expect to be as painful as it was.

I said goodbye to two great friends who are moving on to bigger and better things – a better life for them. So I am happy for them, pleased that they are doing something that will make them happy.

But for perhaps the first time in my life I’m the one staying behind. I have always been the one moving on – leaving friends and family behind to start afresh somewhere new. I didn’t realise how different that would feel.

I know that the sadness comes not just from saying goodbye to two people I consider great friends – people I feel so pleased to have met and got to know – but also from the fact that I am saying goodbye to a sense of familiarity.

They have been here on the small island I call home since I moved here, and picturing this place without them seems almost impossible, because all of my images of this place include them. Many of my happiest times on the island have been spent with them – not doing anything special, just talking and sharing and enjoying life. I find it hard to imagine an evening at the bar after work without them there. Without him mixing up a fabulous cocktail, and her sharing the funny stories that invariably come from doing the kind of job we do.

All that said, whilst goodbyes are hard, they are often the start of something new. A new experience, new friends, new memories.

So I will say a sad farewell to two people who have kept me sane, shared a lot of laughter, but thankfully very few tears. I can only wish them good luck.

No, perhaps I won’t say goodbye – perhaps I’ll just say ‘see you soon’, and know that it’s not an ending, just a change – and change is always good. Right?